TOSSUPS





05/19/09
PRESSER: SNEEZE NO.5 WRAPPING UP... Steroid free/biting your style free...



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05/11/09
MUSICAL EVENTS:



TWO TEARS peforming Wednesday May 13th in DC! Yes, we are getting behind this band. Pick up Sneeze in DC too at Commonwealth.

FC Wed Skate with music by: TWO TEARS
7:00-1:00
21+ W/ID
$5 Donation
BYOB

1248 Blagden Alley NW DC

All donations pay for Ramps and Refreshments.

Outdoor Ramp open from 7:00 till 11:00 pm!



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04/20/09
SNEEZE JAPAN PICKUPS:



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04/15/09
MMMMMM: BURGERS IN PARIS (FROM NY TIMES)


Jane Sigal's NY TIMES multimedia slide show.

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04/14/09
SNEEZE NO.4: DJ KRUSH PHOTOGRAPHY BY


Amazing portrait of DJ KRUSH by Taro -- shot with his Fuji 6x7... So sharp! Check his website and Pool series .

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04/12/09
MR.SNEEZE HEARTS: MONICA BELLUCCI


So we tried through our booker at Elite NY for Monica. Ha, obviously our request went straight to the trash bin.

Photo of her here by Ellen Von Unwerth the great.

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04/08/09
MLB: OAKLAND ATHLETICS


Baseball is underway and this year's Oakland A's team is quite sick with the additions of Giambi, Nomar!, and Holliday. Huge comeback win tonight in the bottom of the ninth against the most unstoking Angels. Expect more A's updates on here as the season progresses!


Oakland Athletics' Nomar Garciaparra, right, is congratulated by teammates after scoring on a single by Athletics' Matt Holliday during the ninth inning of their Major League Baseball game against the Los Angeles Angels, Wednesday, April 8, 2009, in Anaheim, Calif. The Athletics won 6-4. (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)

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03/30/09
SNEEZE NEBRASKA PICKUPS:


Super sick shop SILO stocking SNEEZE!

also...

SNEEZE TEXAS PICKUPS: AUSTIN LOCATION



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03/27/09
SNEEZE LA PICKUPS: 439 N. FAIRFAX


Can also pickup Sneeze and see Javier himself (after his return from TAMPA PRO) at Supreme LA... Diamond Supply Co. stocked too.

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03/26/09
KILLING IT: JAVIER NUNEZ WINS BEST TRICK AT TAMPA PRO!




Jav photos by Mike O'Meally... Not many issues left...

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03/25/09
SNEEZE CANARY ISLAND PICKUPS: LAMBORGHINI SESH


As writer/editor Noah Johnson reports: Thank God for the new Sneeze-friendly drop-top Lamborghini Gallardo LP 560-4 Spyder. Now your MEGAzine will fit in your SUPERcar.


Sneeze causing airbags and roll bars to pop.


The LP400 Countach is still the greatest and most timeless car ever made.


Carports in Monaco are out of hand.


Here we have the Lamborghini Urraco. Quite sick and underrated. Can buy one really cheap now but fixing it is another story...

And so concludes Sneeze&Driver Magazine Lambo report!

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03/23/09
SNEEZE TORONTO PICKUPS:





Also Sneeze at


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03/16/09
SNEEZE NYC PICKUPS:


Sneeze at St.Marks... One of the best bookshops in NYC...

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03/15/09
READ: "TAKE THEIR WORD, THEY'RE V.I.P.'S" from NY TIMES

good read...

"In its early days Colette was known as a "concept store," an idea that -- like pop-up stores and guerrilla stores and baroquely severe Japanese designers who make unwearable but museum-ready clothes -- now seems charmingly dated and quaint."

"Colette's concept in the early days was to defy the tyranny of designer dressing and showcase fashion in a manner resembling a D.J. mashup. Although somewhere along the line the store turned into a Parisian version of a T-shirt shop on Eighth Street, this had virtually no effect on the hordes that still routinely cram the place."



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03/14/09
SNEEZE HONOLULU PICKUPS:


Pickup the new issue at Ward Warehouse location... Can also find at , , and of course the SNEEZE street box on Queen Street & Ala Moana Blvd.

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03/13/09
SNEEZE NO.4: "UNTITLED" ARTWORK BY




Check our latest issue for your very own Kami poster. Kami has always been one of our favorites... This spread alone is worth the price of Sneeze admission. To see more of Kami's work please visit .

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02/28/09
NYC BOX STOCKED: PRINCE & LAFAYETTE



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02/25/09
SNEEZE NO.4 "BIG HANDS ISSUE" DELIVERING NOW!

Can't touch this issue: Javier Nunez & Alex Olson cover photographed by Mike O'Meally, Javier Nunez interiew, Dj Krush photographed by Taro Hirano and Dj Krush interview, Naomi Campbell, Kim, Lady Liberty, Lego, Stussy surf, Oahu, original artwork by Kami, plus more....

Our best issue yet, more pages too...



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02/05/09
ARCHIVE: QUEEN B COBRA BARONESS
(FROM SNEEZE ISSUE NO.1)

Story by Ania Mafi

Inspired by DR. SMOOV's Destro Ft. the Baroness "Get Money" music video. Features insight about the COBRA Baroness character from DR. SMOOV himself, a lady who dresses up as her at comic conventions, and a cartoon "expert". Ania tried to track down the original voice of the character on the TV cartoon but came up just short. Great read... Scroll it. COPYRIGHT 2009 SNEEZE MAGAZINE.





There is something special about the Baroness that not only obsessed 80's cartoon fans see, but anyone who remotely remembers G.I. JOE can pick up again. This isn't a Maxim "Top 10 sexiest cartoon babes" article, or some crazed comic book maniac explaining all the details as to why you should like her. Nothing needs to be explained -- the Baroness is a controversial fox and is down for whatever. If you don't remember her, one search for 'Baroness' on YouTube brings it all back and re-introduces you to her heat.

In a music video made by DR. SMOOV on YouTube, the Baroness comes to life singing lyrics to match her bad demeanor, exposing a side of her you never guessed was there. The video is a series of meticulously pieced clips of the characters from the TV episodes, pieced together with impeccable timing as a cover to "Get Money" by Junior M.A.F.I.A. "I have always been a fan of the 'Get Money' song, and what better hip-hop counterparts for Destro and the Baroness than Biggie Smalls and Lil Kim! I just imagined how funny it would be to see Baroness saying all that nasty raunchy stuff that Lil Kim raps about," DR. SMOOV explains.

Importing shots from about 20 different episodes, DR. SMOOV wanted this video to be as close to a real hip-hop video as possible, to the caliber of those seen on MTV or BET. Editing and directing music videos professionally, this was a labor of love for DR. SMOOV who worked on the project over a few weeks in his spare time.

"I wanted many of the images to be 'literal' examples of the lyrics, so I would look for footage in the episodes that would match... Every image in all of my videos is placed where it is for a reason," SMOOV says.

The Baroness is a villain amongst the bad boys in the series, so to see her rap as the lone female player amongst the guys really sings true to what Baroness fans may really see her being like. As her 1984 Hasbro action figure card says "Her principal weakness is the division of her loyalty between COBRA Commander and Destro. Her chief strength would seem to lie in her ability to play them against each other." Enough said, she's a player.

To see a character as you would a real person, with a history of experiences and a developed personality, is not uncommon in good comics. In fact, comic characters from a series like G.I. JOE that has been around for over 25 years are so developed, it's hard to find a children's cartoon with that level of sophistication and history today.

"They went beyond the task of just selling toys, they created an intelligent universe of quality characters and stories. Unfortunately many of the cartoons that are produced today underestimate children's potential intellect, and feed kids these shallow, hyper, 2 dimensional characters and storylines in order to make a quick buck on a small age range," DR. SMOOV says.

G.I. JOE was a show for kids in the 80's, but watching it again now you can easily pick up on the adult content. This show wasn't just about firing a laser gun. The bad guys (COBRA) constantly talked about how they'd fund their terrorist attacks and even had a legal team who helped them market and make decisions. These "consultants" were fraternal twins, named Tomax and Xamot -- because it's spelled the same forwards and backwards.

One episode titled "Cobrathon" features the Baroness in a low V-cut dress (reminiscent of the green J-Lo Versace) trying to raise $5 billion via a telethon. The money was being raised to help fund a new COBRA computer virus that detonates the computers it infects. COBRA wanted to corrupt the computer systems of InterPol (International Criminal Police Organization). According to Tomax, "Criminals everywhere would contribute generously." Cleary sex sells everything.

A cartoon featuring a terrorist group (including a hot female member) trying to defeat American soldiers and take over the U.S. How well would that work today?

Former managing editor of Adbusters and Japanese anime artist Jenny Uechi has a keen perspective on politics and is pretty certain "terrorism" wouldn't make a popular plot for today's cartoons -- especially if a terrorist is portrayed as a sexy or even sympathetic young woman. It's this element of the cartoon that makes it all the more real she says.

"Characters like [the Baroness] would correspond more to reality: there's the whole 'Army of Roses' of women suicide bombers in Palestine and widow terrorists in Chechnya, many of whom are young, smart women who've gone through tragedies like the Baroness," Uechi says.

"You can see the photos of Lebanese terrorists in Robert Pape's book, Dying to Win, and many of the women are strikingly pretty. While cartoons tend to distort reality, I think that portraying a terrorist as a charismatic woman as opposed to a lunatic old man is more accurate than what we usually see on TV."

Uechi points out that G.I. JOE, much like Japanese anime, has multi-faceted and ambiguous characters: the "bad" characters are seen as alluring, the "good" characters being less so at times.

So what makes the "bad" character of the Baroness so alluring?

"She's got that tight black cat suit with the boots and the glasses -- very sexy. Long black hair -- sexy. She shoots guns -- sexy. She's got that accent -- also very sexy. She's got the attitude which is very sexy, but she'd probably be a pain in the ass if you tried to have a long term relationship with her... Also, she is just a cartoon chick so all this is irrelevant," DR. SMOOV says.

While dating her will never be a reality, she has a real life quality about her both in her looks and in her terrorist actions. The Baroness revolted to evil after the murder of her brother, usually how many terrorists begin their careers -- through revenge after a loss. Some may even compare her traits to Leila Khaled, one of the world's most famous female terrorists who after a 1969 hijacking underwent extensive plastic surgery to conceal her identity. The Baroness too underwent plenty of plastic surgery after trying to save Destro in an attack. A coincidence? Maybe, but like Khaled the Baroness also began a life of terrorism as a student radical. I'm no expert on the entire history of the character to illustrate the many ways she exemplifies reality -- but trust me there's likely much more.

"She's tough, intelligent, independent, and has an actual purpose in the story, as opposed to many female characters both in Japanese and U.S. comics who only exist to serve as a 'romantic interest' for the hero," Uechi says. The fact that this series is slated for a 2009 movie release is proof that people want more, and this series is so real they want real actors too. Sienna Miller is set to play the Baroness, which begs the question: Is Sienna worthy of this character?

"She needs to be a phenomenal actress who's able to front a cold, ruthless demeanor on the outside, and then really explore the depths of her vulnerable qualities on the inside that fuels her sinister motives," DR. SMOOV says.

Tina Fay could be a good Baroness, she does have the glasses. Demi Moore, post Striptease perhaps?

In an attempt to find out who should play this role from the real Baroness, voice actress Morgan Lofting, the paper trail led no where. Morgan Lofting did a great Eastern European accent and is probably the one person who knows this character inside and out, having voiced her in the 80's and 90's. Her agency hasn't represented her for years and had no idea where she was. Other searches came up empty handed, but I did locate a fan who dresses up as the Baroness at comic conventions who once met a writer of the show who dated Morgan Lofting back in the day. Okay so it's a bit of a stretch, but just go with it.

"The original director of COBRA, I've seen him a couple years ago -- Wally Burr. He dated Morgan. We got to have a little chat because I was with him at a convention and all he kept on doing was referring to me as Morgan," said Rose Wald aka "the Baroness" from Spring City Pennsylvania.

"Whenever I do go to the conventions I do get into character and I start posing a lot and I go after people giving them the headlock. Lots of guys like the headlock," Rose says. "I get a lot of attention."

Owning almost every Baroness figurine ever made, Rose knows quite a bit about the extensive history of the character but admits there are things even she doesn't know. "She was pretty flirty. I didn't know who she was gonna be with from one minute to the next," Rose says. Her mysterious nature makes the Baroness as multifaceted as a real woman and a femme fatale like no other.

Although DR. SMOOV shows us the potentially raunchy side of the Baroness, there's probably no chance the Baroness would go down for COBRA like Lil Kim did for her crew after a 2001 shooting. All for one, but one for none for the real Baroness.

COPYRIGHT 2009 SNEEZE MAGAZINE

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01/29/09
FEDEX FINAL DELIVERY: O'MEALLY E6, C41, and BW NEGS




Nothing beats film... Issue is CLOSED! Original content is now all officially in and files on the way to printers momentarily. Sneeze No.4 is going to kill.

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01/26/09
CLAUDIA: JUST BECAUSE...



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